Basically needed a male connector to plug in to the connector under the dash. I'll dig a little more to see if a T-One powered connector with the correct connector is available and thus would be plug and go, 03-04 Element and 03-04 CRV plugs would be the same but would be non-powered. Went to a salvage yard and found a 2004 CRV with a non powered trailer harness with the correct plug, but also noticed the tail light connectors for the CRV are the same connectors as the Element under dash connector. So took the whole rear tail light harness as well as the hitch harness from the CRV for $25. I could have used the CRV non powered harness but decided to err on the side of caution and use a powered convertor. Took the CRV tail light connectors and disassembled them to get the pigtails for the under seat and rear Element connectors.
Unlock connector wings (secondary locks), in order to remove pigtails, then look for a tiny tab (primary lock) to free the pigtail.
Unlock connector wings (secondary locks), in order to remove pigtails, then look for a tiny tab (primary lock) to free the pigtail.