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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I bought a black 2WD EX the other day. I snuck it home and have it parked in my neighbor's garage (he's out of town for a few weeks and had spare space.) There is sits with 55 miles on the odometer. How do I tell my wife what I have done?

I am totally taken by this little machine - it's a kick. I've had the opportunity to drive (not own) a lot of "cool" cars (Acura NSX, Porsche 930, BMW 750, Vette's, Jag XKE, etc.) but none of them have put the kind of goofy grin on my face I get with the Element.

I fear my wife does not share my enthusiasm and therein lies the problem. My dealer was kind enough to let me take another EX home to show her the car, let her drive it, etc. (I thought this was suprisingly generous - my dealer is nearly 50 miles away so I put almost 100 miles on a new inventory unit I told him I was not going to buy since it wasn't the color I wanted. He said take it anyway. Cool.) So my wife saw it and drove it and was not convinced it was the right car for her. Damn!!

Being a typical "obsessed by a new toy" male I of course went ahead and bought the black EX the very same day.

She's going out of town for a week and leaves in a couple days. Do I tell her before she leaves? If she's really PO'd she'll have a week to stew about it. Wait until she comes back? If she finds out when I purchased it and that I waited two weeks + to tell her that might make her really mad.

Any ideas? Anyone else done this before?

Do you have know how hard it is to know you have this great new car but you can't drive it, can't play with it, can't just go out and merely sit in it. I've actually been sneaking over to my neighbor's garage for little "visits". Gee - I have a mistress - a Honda Element!
 

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Man....speaking as a newly married woman....I would be totally POed at you....maybe money is no object with you (not asking....just making a point)....but if my husband went out and spent $20,000 without letting me in on the process or agreeing on such a major purchase....well lets just say it wouldn't be pretty!!!

If I were you I would be more concerend about who to call for counseling after you tell your wife about the E.

I am sorry if I am being harsh.....I am just trying to put myself in your wife's shoes. I love the E...and had to convince my husband that we should buy it vs a new Civic.....in the end we were both ready to go with the other's decision, but he ultimately said it was my choice because it was my car, but it was a decision we made together....after all $20,000 is a HUGE chunk of change to just go out and spend,unless you are Bill Gates, Oprah, or a BackStreet Boy....

In conclusion I hope you have a very understanding wife, who can see the insanity that the E drives people to.....just say to her "Not Guilty by reason of Elemental Deffect!"

Good Luck!
 

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Gee - I hope you have figured out how to fold down the seats into a bed. Cause my wife said if I ever did anything like that I'd be sleeping in the car.
But hey, isn't that what the E is all about?
Enjoy the moonroof !

ORANGEE
:twisted:
 

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Is the Element going to be

(1) your car, and almost never driven by your wife;
(2) a family car that she'll be driving part time and you'll be driving part time;
or
(3) her car?

Further,
(1) Was it agreed that a new car was in the near future?
(2) Were you more or less spending the amount agreed upon in the family budget for a car purchase?
(3) Is there any reason the Element wouldn't work for your family? (Such as having more than 3 passengers on a regular basis)?

If it's really YOUR car, and the car purchase was agreed upon as being in the near future, and this was more/less the amount you wanted to spend, then I say it's really not a big sin. She might be surprised and she might be perturbed about not really being a part of the decision, but it's not her car. She doesn't have to love the car - but I bet it will grow on her.

If it's going to largely be a shared car, uh, dude, you'd better think really hard about telling her in a diplomatic way.

If it's going to be her car, or this was not a budgeted purchase, or the car simply won't work for your family, I'd say that the one accessory your car really needs is a nice pair of diamond and platinum earrings from Tiffany. Or a good divorce lawyer.

In any case: telling now is better than telling later.

Good luck, dude!
 

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What to do? Well, you could compound the problem by telling a little white lie and tell her that you made your decision and are going to pick up your new E (before she leaves town). Show up in the new E and say, I got it, rather than telling her you have already done so without her permission. Maybe it compounds the problem, maybe she says KEWL.

It depends on your relationship with her I suppose more than anything. My girlfriend wouldn't even think this was out of the ordinary for me (but she isn't a wife yet either). She would say, "whatever". My ex-wife would have me locked away in a dark hole for ever making a decision without her consent, and then would go out and purchase a $7000 bedroom set without my consent :evil:

I would say the honest approach is the best (I have learned through my years). Take the kick in the nads now and tell her you made an impulse decision. Tell her how excited the E got you and it was love at first site or something cheesy. Tell her you wanted to surprise her when she got back, but you're just bursting to tell her and had to get it off your chest. Definitely tell her before she leaves though. One way or another. The time away might let her cool down a little if she is steamed.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
OK, OK ....... I'll tell her ASAP. Nobody seems to think I should put it off until she gets back.

As for the many questions....well, I have been toying with the idea of telling her she can drive it if she wants to or I'll be happy to drive it instead and it's her choice. My company gives me car allowance that's pretty decent and my company car lease is up - I have to drive something else anyway. I was going to drive my trusty old 1990 GMC C1500 Sierra (original owner, cream puff) but I would be HAPPY to drive the Element instead. She can keep driving her Mercedes (1984 300SD) or we can sell the Merecedes and GMC and she can pick out her own new set of wheels. I'm not going to strap her inside the E and force her to drive it.

We've been married for 20 years so it's not likely to tear apart our relationship. Believe me, she knows me pretty well by now.

Bite the bullet I guess.
 

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Maybe it's because I've only been married twelve years, but I'm pretty sure my wife isn't that understanding.

If it were me, I wouldn't be concerned about what would happen after I told her, because I would be dead.
 

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What I would do is wait until she is out of town. Then start telling her on the phone every day about the car. Tell her that you went by to look at it. Keep talking very excitedly about it. Then one day get very excited and tell her that you bought it! WOW!

Hopefully she will be excited too -- by the time she comes home.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thanks Yoko - We think alike. I think deep down I knew if I made a case for the E on the front end I wouldn't get enough support and that would be the end of it. I'm operating on the "It's better to ask forgiveness than for permission" principle, knowing after 20 years of marriage what actions would truly strain our relationship and what actions would merely elicit the "I married an idiot" look.

The good news (for me) is the E is mine to drive. She remains in the non-E-loving camp and would prefer to drive something else. That's OK - there's plenty of other cars out there and if she wants leather and carpet she can have them. I was never buying her a car that she was going to be stuck with no matter what, rather the choice was hers to drive the E or something else. She's been tooling around in her big Mercedes for so long I'm sure the E seems like a BIG shock.

Funny thing about the E - if you're willing to think outside the box you'll end up driving one.
 

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I am sure after riding in the "E" for a while, your wife will ask if she can take a spin in it. I know my partner would love to drive my "E", but he can't drive a manual transmission.
 

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Put a big bow on it , park it in the driveway, Then give her some reservations that you have made for her favorite spot, weekend vacation, where she loves to eat, let's go get those plants now that you wanted, etc. Bribery and Diplomacy is the only way to go now. Tell how you kept thinking of how much fun the TWO of you would have owning one. You are screwed anyway you go now. Good Luck.
 

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Well, you know the old saying: You gets what you pays for. So in this case, it sounds like you are gonna get LUMPS!!

Ger
 

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The Element is a good choice of car. You can put in carpet and make it acceptable to her tastes in many other ways. It's a smart choice as far as reliability and comfort as it's a Honda and much bigger than the cars offered at a comparable price.

She may not like the look of it at first... but tell her beauty is skin deep , it's what's inside that matters... and this little truck has it in spades.

Also show her the E concept car that was based on the Element... that thing is wicked cool... she might reconsider then... maybe not but give it a shot. :roll:
 

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I don't know what your sweating about!
You said you are due for a new car anyway?
She is obviously no genious in her rationality for a
choice for her car! And did she take your advise?
You said you would sell the pick up if you had to?
You said she knows you after over twenty years
She must know you are capable of such a stunt by now!
She either loves you or....
The fact that we're married shouldn't stand in the way
of getting the thing we really want in life, as long as
we live up to our responsibilities and commitements.
Obviously this vehicle is priority of yours.
Once she experiences you and your "E" together for a
while she will soon realize any other vehicle that can
be as versatile, have as much character and make you
as happy, would be two or three times the price! :mrgreen:
 

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..1 yr ago. Saw an Xterra that I just fell in love with ( Deep Sea Blue ) that happened to also be a very good deal. I knew this wouldn't happen if my wife was involved so I did the dirty deed on my own, traded in a 4 yr old CRV by the way. Anyway, was she ever mad and for about 3 days wouldn't talk to me. Probably the worst week of my life. She wouldn't drive it for about 2 weeks. It all blew over after a few weeks and now she just loves the Xterra, often tells me how nice it is to drive. The bottom line though is if you can afford the purchase without any serious financial ramifications to the family. In our case it was not an issue. Also helps to have a good marriage to begin with. Would I do it again.... yea, probably. I'm the " car guy" in the family and I like to drive what I like.My wife doesn't care so much as long as "it isn't a mini van". Good Luck :wink: Oh, by the way.. it will blow over , but you will never hear the end of it :D
 

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One of the coolest things about the Element is its price relative to the rest of the market.

I paid 19 Grand - and my friends are dropping 33K on their new rides.
Guess who'll be better off 5 years from now.

Convince her you going to keep the Element for at least 5 years and that it was a sensible purchase. Then live up to your words and keep for at least that long.

And: Let her show her friends.
 
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